Man, if one day I ever found out I was a god, even half a of one, that would be the day my ego turns into something unstoppable. In preparation for that day, I implore anyone reading with the right capabilities to create a set of bullets that can blast a hole through a god’s skulls, then swiftly come to my address and just shoot me. Being part of a species who can’t stop themselves from playing god all the time is bad enough, if I found myself to be one of the things we’re all trying to mimic, everyone will turn into me. That can’t stand. Or maybe that might just be the perfect utopia that I’ve been dreaming of. Snap out of it, not only is this goddamn nonsensical ramble lightyears from what you should be talking about, but it’s stupid. The very day I run into a doppelganger of myself will be the day I get locked up for murder, or will it be a mercy killing?
I’ll say, that’s one way to open a review about a Disney film. If I didn’t have to put a title on this review I would dance around the name of the film throughout the whole review and leave you all in confusion about which Disney film could I possibly be talking about. Let’s not kid ourselves however, anyone with a quarter of a brain, hardcore Disney fans being close enough to that cerebral number, can figure out that it’s Hercules (1997) I’m on about. Which also happens to be my girlfriends favourite Disney feature, which is reason enough for me to watch it because I haven’t. So, on this unexpectedly sunny day, with a large bowl of feta and tomato pasta on my lap, we watched it. This is my own personal criterion when watching any Disney film from their 1989-1999 Renaissance, “Is it as good as Emperor’s New Groove?” I ask myself. And though the humour, in my humble opinion if I may cautiously add here, has nothing on what Emp’s New Groove plays with effortlessly in the writing and animation, Hercules runs circles around the former with the fantasy and twinkling detail of its animation. I’ve always found Disney’s offerings that dabble in mystical or mythological matters come with an art style to match. Look at Mulan (1998), Beauty and the Beast (1991) or any of the Aladdin films and you’ll get a sparkling clear picture with colourful wisps hovering around it. Same goes for Hercules, where heavenly incandescent light glows through the colour palette, especially atop of Mount Olympus, where all the gods are drinking themselves into a mortal stupor, the entire gathering looks like they walked through a fizzy rainbow. Their bright faces faintly glitter and move with all the grace and smoothness of a cloud, and this is precisely why this, and other films from Disney’s Renaissance will are immortal. No matter far animation leaps in hyperrealism, these films will always have their distinct charm beaming through the frames. One moment in the film where this fantasy is smashed to pieces is the battle with Hydra. A tall-three headed monster lumbering out of a cave isn’t as terrifying as the computer-generated animation that weaved it into existence. Just to clarify, this is not a compliment. Call me an anachronistic, anti-computer contrarian however you want, but that computer-generated monstrosity in contrast to how beautifully elegant Hercules’ movements are is just inadmissible in my eyes. What I will admit however is in that instance, and a couple of others, where the task of hand-drawing the more chaotic scenes of the film most certainly became too Herculean for the animators, the only obvious solution would’ve been to turn to computers.
I mentioned humour earlier in comparison to Emperor’s New Groove, an unfair fight now come to think of it, yet still Hercules has its moments of wit. The oddly New York-esque city of Thebes being the sprawling epicentre of where this comedy reverberates out into the film. Countless allusions to our society are made upon Hercules’ arrival and rise to muscle-bound notoriety that I couldn’t help but chuckle at all of them. If one ever needed an example to take Bergson’s writings in practice seriously, watch any of these Disney films, and any other film where a fictional world seems to reflect or poke fun at the shambling mess that is our society. What makes the film completely is Hades. Everything from his character design, personality, dialogue and humour make him the best character. He is what every person having a bad day, surrounded by fools with the universe holding a vendetta against them. Despite being god of the underworld, he’s the most human of them all. Not too fast, how could you even end a section about humour without even mentioning Danny DeVito. Yes, our favourite human/penguin hybrid himself, playing a human/goat hybrid, Philoctetes. I don’t know what supernatural powers are hidden in Danny DeVito’s voice that can make anything he voices look like him, or perhaps they just animated the character around the movements of his mouth, but what you see and hear is what you get, the man himself in all of his glory.
Half of the musical numbers I’ve already forgotten, namely all of the ones dedicated to Hercules. The ones that are truly ineffaceable are the ones sung by the muses. Their groovy notes and angelic voices, superb character designs and physical humour twirling around some rather amazing moments of detailed animation make all of their numbers just a damn joy. Even Meg’s musical moment was heightened because the Muses sang back-up for half of it. I can see this fabulous five making it very big as a funk band.
Alright, I’ve exhausted my limited store of words for this film. It’s clearly obvious to my now why this is my girlfriend’s favourite Disney attraction, though I don’t share that sentiment, it comes pretty fucking close. I personal adored every single moment of this film, in spite of the odd computer-animated scene here and there, which if someone as intolerant as myself didn’t find even close enough to ruin his enjoyment of the film, I’m sure this’ll fly with a lot of you out there.
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